Things You Didnt Know About The XMen
by ello.cheeky
Summary: A boring summer in Bayville leads to the resident mutants writing lists about each other. Inspired by wicked18writer's Sookie Stackhouse lists. Rate and review please
1. Rogue

45 Things you didn't know about Rogue (AKA Anna-Marie)

Dear Remy,

Since you've been complaining about not knowing anything about our young Rogue, me and a certain nameless furry German mutant have compiled a list for you of little and unknown facts about Rogue. Enjoy!

Start every sentence with "Rogue…"

1. Will swear to the high heavens that her first concert was Metallica…

2. …however it was really the Spice Girls…

3. …and she even wore a Union Flag shirt because Ginger was her favourite.

4. Once had to defend herself against an alligator in Mississippi by throwing Coke

bottles off its' head until it turned away, this is her favourite story to tell after a few too many beers.

5. Read _Gone with the Wind_ when she was seven and still to this day will say "Great balls of fire" instead of swearing when she gets mad.

6. Claims to know the full recipe for KFC.

7. Also claims that the main reason she would never get with you is that she couldn't bare the thought of dating a Swamp Rat.

8. Has a secret thing for Mike Chang from _Glee_...

9. …And Billy Ray Cyrus (before and after that mullet)…

10. …and Eric Northman from _True Blood_…

11. …and a girl-crush on Emma Stone.

12. Is very sick of explaining to the men of the X-Mansion that a girl-crush isn't gay just admiring.

13. Loves British television, her favourites including _Being Human_, _Doctor Who_ and _Misfits_ generally because they all involve monsters/superheroes/aliens.

14. Has always loved anything involving puppets since she was a little girl, except _Avenue Q_…

15. …the reason for this has yet to be discovered but the general guess is that there's a puppet sex scene.

16. Wishes you would please stop feeling her up when they're in combat as the images in his head when she absorbs him are less then decent.

17. However has admitted that you have one fine ass under that old trench.

18. As well as her current obsession with British TV has picked up a thing for British music…

19. …this in turn had lead to her _Florence and the Machine_ CD being confiscated since it had been on repeat for at least a week…

20. …the same went for _The Beatles_,_ Duffy_ and _David Bowie_…

21. … this chain of events has lead to myself (Kitty) to take over the shared stereo with _Justin Beiber_ to teach her a lesson (Logan's orders).

22. Claims to adore serious literature and hates typical romance, however has a Mills & Boon under her bed.

23. Once got drunk and chucked up in Jean's bathroom, running past a very compromised Jean and Scott before passing out.

24. Is impossible to watch any Disney movie with, especially _The Little Mermaid_, except _The Lion King_ because (in her words) she isn't a monster.

25. Can tell the difference between _Coke_ and _Diet Coke_.

26. Has dressed up as Columbia from _Rocky Horror_ for the past three Halloweens and can actually do the tap dance.

27. Gets very upset for the Wicked Witch of the West from the _Wizard of Oz_ at the loss of her sister…

28. … and none of us were aware of this until she cried throughout _Wicked_ when we went to see it on Broadway.

29. Bought a hamburger phone for our room the day after she saw _Juno_.

30. Created a Mutant drinking game and put it on Facebook…

31. … to date it has over 700'319 likes.

32. Once during a fight with the Brotherhood shouted _THIS IS SPARTA_ before kicking Lance down into a mud pit.

33. Has a surprisingly large number of nail varnishes considering she always wears gloves.

34. Did a lot of research into her family tree and discovered she had ancestors who had been pirates…

35. … and from this drank a lot of rum until one unfortunate evening (see number 23).

36. Loves indie comedies and thrillers with an actual plot in case you are ever going to get the balls to ask her out.

37. Has a _No Talk Before Coffee _rule which has only been broken once by Scott who ended up with a mysteriously broken visor next time we were all called out to fight.

38. Has never cried at Titanic, Moulin Rogue or The Notebook but will fall to pieces when The Doctor and Rose are trapped in different dimensions at the end of season two.

39. Likes to draw silly comics in her spare time; a few titles being _So You Can't Kiss without a Coma? Two-Tone Hair is the way Forward _and _My Grandma; What a Big Blue Tail You Have_.

40. Makes delicious paella even thought she's never been to Spain in her life.

41. Gets very very angry when people don't know how to use _there_, _their_ and _they're_, same applies for _were_, _we're_, _where_ and _wear_.

42. Can do a very realistic Stewie Griffin impression despite hating Family Guy.

43. Has always wanted to wear Magneto's cape even though he's the bad guy.

44. Cannot fathom how the people of the DC Universe can't tell the difference between Superman and Clark Kent despite the glasses and the spandex, even the woman he's screwing.

45. Will probably kill us for writing this.


	2. Gambit

Hey Kitty! Since we heard about your list about Rogue, me and Wanda decided to write you one for Remy.

Trust me it makes for a good read!

Lance.

Begin every sentence with "Gambit…"

1. Had the biggest crush on Claudia from _Interview with a Vampire _when he was young…

2. …this is why he has never missed a Kristen Dunst movie.

3. Will openly admit that _ZZ Top_ is his favourite band and when he thinks he's alone he likes to sing _Sharp Dressed Man_ in his underwear with a hairbrush microphone.

4. Is well aware that everyone hates it when he talks in third person and does it anyway.

5. Is a member of New York's Cajun Society and once a month holds a very private Crawfish Boil at the Brotherhood house.

6. Treats himself to a week off every year and no one knows what he does, that is until last month when we found tickets for Comic Con in the mail.

7. Has always had a thing for legs, especially legs in stockings.

8. Doesn't understand how someone as devoid of personality as Scott is the leader of the X-Men and that is one of the main reasons he won't join.

9. Doesn't want to make a move on Rogue in case Logan rips his balls out…

10. …not that Rogue couldn't manage that all herself.

11. Loves karaoke with a passion, his favourite tune being _Free Bird_.

12. Once beat an Irishman in a drinking contest, a fact he has told anyone who will listen.

13. Saw Rogue kick me (Lance) into that pit and still to this day idolises her and mocks me.

14. Does a very realistic _Chewbacca_ impression…

15. ….and an _Elmo_ impression…

16. …but his _Porky Pig_ is practically perfect.

17. Doesn't find New York accents attractive on anyone apart from the cops.

18. Was overjoyed to find another Southerner "with legs that go on forever" in such a little town, the fact she is a mutant is a bonus.

19. Wants to own an all-mutant burlesque club with John in the French Quarter once all the mutant hype dies down.

20. Had to be looked after by me (Wanda) during a nasty bout of the flu once. The only thing that made him happy that day was you and Rogue coming to visit.

21. Watched one episode of Doctor Who with David Tennant and suddenly he was all hair gel and a British accent until we had a mini-intervention.

22. Wore black nail varnish all the way through his grunge years.

23. Can't understand the point of Aquaman.

24. Thinks Batman is just a miserable version of Iron Man.

25. Has never once regretted singling Rogue out in battle…

26. …in fact he thinks she's the only one worth fighting…

27. … and he has admitted that several of his fight moves are just so he can straddle/ pin Rogue and vice versa.

28. Has an obsession with oral hygiene which includes a vast selection of floss, whitener, tongue scrapers and specialist toothpaste. The theory behind this is how "in your face" a lot of villains and foes can be.

29. Enjoys smoking! There, we said it. However he has made a point that he would cut back or give up depending on a certain mutant's preference.

30. Waxes his chest. No lie…

31. …has on occasion helped me (Wanda) wax my legs…

32. …same goes for Tabby.

33. Has an original copy of _Alice in Wonderland_ that belonged to his great great grandmother in a safety deposit box in New Orleans.

34. Has only ever done drugs once and went on such a bad trip he never went near them again. No one's entirely sure what happened but he did once mentioned angry talking playing cards.

35. Prefers vanilla ice cream to chocolate even though it makes him boring in most peoples' eyes.

36. Used to have a pet cat called Jemima…

37. …and a rabbit called Flopsy….

38. …and a lizard called Bob.

39. Got very excited with the Rogue advice from the list you sent.

40. Has endurance contests with John whenever they get bored. This has led to numerous kitchen fires and the occasional still-charged knife and fork come dinner time, that explains the number of fire extinguishers in the house in case you've noticed.

41. Can use a whip, in a very sexy _Indiana Jones_-type way, however nowadays only really uses it to grab stuff out of reach and no one's all that sure where he picked up the talent to begin with.

42. Has gotten everyone in the Brotherhood house to agree that Rogue would look good in a _Merlotte's_ uniform from _True Blood_, especially the shorts.

43. Doesn't give a shit about Rogue's mutation, and wouldn't mind getting knocked out by her on a regular basis.

44. Has always thought of himself as a modern-day _Rhett Butler_.

45. Is no where near as scary or menacing as he likes to make people think, trust us we've seen the empty moisturiser pots… an the home waxing kits.

A/N

Decided to make this a bit of a series since it got a few favourites and reviews. High five for multiple references! Not sure who do to next, any suggestions?


	3. Kitty

A/N

Kitty was a very popular choice for this one. Also I only just remembered about the disclaimer so yeah I don't own the X-Men, if I did I'd be living next door to Motley Crue and bathing in whiskey and £20 notes.

Dear Lance (and whoever else finds this),

I heard on the grapevine about the list that Kitty and Kurt sent Remy at the Brotherhood and thought it was only fair to send one about your own little KittyKat!

Rogue

Begin every sentence with "Kitty…"

1. Has never fully gotten over her crush on Macaulay Culkin.

2. Tells everyone her favourite movie is _Forrest Gump_…

3. … really it's _Clueless_, she loves her some _Brittany Murphy_.

4. Used to have a practical joke where she phases a pen through her hand, adds fake blood and started screaming; but once she'd managed to terrify Logan she decided to quit while she was ahead.

5. Will always get up and sing Trinkt le Chaim when we watch _Thoroughly Modern Millie_.

6. Never really bothered learning Yiddish except the insults and curses.

7. Once joined a yoga group and dropped out when she found out they met before dawn.

8. Talks in her sleep and has a recurring dream that you go gay for Pietro.

9. Bakes cupcakes when she's pissed off, blue frosting means frustrated, red frosting means Do-Not-Approach.

10. Has a grandmother who keeps trying to get her to go see the matchmaker from the "Old Country".

11. Dislikes _Motley Crue_ but cried when she read _The_ _Heroin Diaries_.

12. Has a naughty book under her pillow which can only be defined by the term "bodice-ripper".

13. Prefers _Katy Perry_ to _Ke$ha_, because frankly there is nothing sexy about being trashy.

14. Had been intoxicated a grand total of once, in that time sang along to an entire _Carrie Underwood _album, professed her love for you (Lance) and tried to pole dance on one of the outside pillars of the mansion before crying and being put to bed by me and Kurt.

15. Is, ironically, allergic to cats, even the hairless ones.

16. Gets really pissed off when people screw around on escalators at the mall.

17. She really hates having to fight you and has come very close to hitting Scott on more then one occasion when he wont match her to anyone else.

18. Originally hated the _X-Box_ the guys at the mansion bought…

19. ... and currently has the most achievements on _Black Ops_ and can singlehandedly complete a campaign on _Left4Dead_ on expert.

20. Hates pantyhose but loves stockings.

21. Is scared of mimes and human statues, no ones quite sure why.

22. Has a _Billy Minsky's_ _Burlesque_ poster rolled up in her closet.

23. Once met _Dita Von Teese_ in a coffee shop in New York, the picture and autograph are framed on the dresser.

24. Hates that you have to pull a face in every picture she takes.

25. Has looked after me more times then I care to remember.

26. Accidently phased through the wall separating the girls and boys locker rooms once after a Danger Room session and saw a lot more than sweaty gum shorts.

27. Sings _Soft Kitty_ to Kurt whenever he's feeling down.

28. Can tap-dance.

29. Had a speech impediment when she was younger which is whys he says "like" a lot, it was a way to bide time while she was working her way around the words. So every time you're an asshole about it that's why she gets angry.

30. Thought it was really sweet when you dressed as the _Scarecrow_ to match her _Dorothy Gale_ for Halloween last year.

31. Is the _Charade_s assassin, her secret weapon is very very sneaky and I'm sworn to secrecy.

32. Has a savings fund for a Vivienne Westwood tote bag.

33. Donates to Water Aid every year.

34. Wants to know why we never get invited to Gambit's Crawfish Boil (frankly so do I, it's kinda rude).

35. Has a thing for viral videos…

36. …current favourites are FuzzyFuzzy CuteCute, David after the dentist and anything by Weebl and Bob.

37. Cries at the 10 Things I Hate About You poem every time.

38. Once gave me a make over to look like a pre-goth Ashlee Simpson.

39. Has finally admitted she's into Monster Trucks (thanks to you) and would like to remind you that tickets go on sale next week.

40. Does an awesome Napoleon Dynamite impression.

41. Can recite Sonnet 130 from memory.

42. Cannot resist a makeover movie. Among the favourites are Miss Congeniality, The Princess Diaries and The Devil Wears Prada (which she dragged me to six times)

43. She thinks the Twilight Saga is a classic like Pride & Prejudice or Great Expectations, however she hated the movie since Kristen Stewart has a grand total of one facial expression.

44. Sends all her friends Valentine's every year without fail with a little personalised gift. My last one was a comic of the two of us that was so full of in-jokes I laughed for a solid hour.

45. Really deeply cares for you, and no amount of X-Men-Brotherhood bullshit will change that (unless you start acting like a douchebag again). Also she gets very distracted by the tightness of your suit, just a heads-up!

A/N

I really hate Twilight. Any suggestions for the next victim? I'm going to try and do one a week, maybe more if I have the time. R&R please you lovely lovely people!


	4. Lance

A/N

Hello you lovely lovely people! Had a very shit few weeks which is why I haven't posted anything and I'm sorry.

Special thanks to demonpixie1 for her lovely reviews and suggestions. Also started work on chapter two of Idle Hands!

On with the humiliation of another fictional teenager! Hurray!

Please rate and review.

PS

I forgot how adorable Lance and Kitty are! I was re-watching the Evolution episodes for inspiration and verbally went "Awwwwwwh Bless!" more than once.

Dear Kitty and Rogue,

We wanted in on this list business so here's one for Lance. Enjoy!

Pietro, Toad and Fred

Start every sentence with "Lance"

1. Has never seen an avalanche that he hasn't started himself.

2. Has seen Predator 153 times and has gone out on Halloween as Dutch more times then anyone cares to remember.

3. Gave Kitty her own personal ringtone on his phone…

4. … it's _What's New Pussycat? _By Tom Jones.

5. Thinks people who shower with their pets is all kinds of wrong.

6. Has a fear of rubber ducks.

7. Had Rebecca Black as his ringtone until we threatened to start smash things.

8. Once had the brilliant idea of driving from the Brotherhood house to the Mansion at 3:00AM to serenade you with a medley of love songs (_Teenage Dream_, _My Beloved Monster_ and _This is a Man's World_ to name a few). This was a good idea before we remembered about Logan's security system complete with lasers. Remember that day you came over and we were all tired and you'd heard shouting the night before? That was us.

9. Was once dragged on a fishing trip with Logan, Scott, Nightcrawler and any other guy involved with one of the X-Girls, everyone had a good time until threats of castration were being thrown around like beads at Mardi Gras.

10. Shares a thing for make-over movies but only when it's a personality and not a vanity one, like _Rocky_.

11. Wanted to be a butcher when he was little…

12. … and a rollercoaster designer…

13. …and a wizard.

14. Has an aunt in Greece who herds goats for a living and he has known how to humanly kill and skin a goat since he was 6. This talent hasn't proven useful in Bayville so far but here's hoping.

15. Tried to pierce his ear with a safety pin and ended up in the ER with a septic ear.

16. Has a life-sized cut out of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_.

17. Makes the best chilli cheese fries (from Fred)

18. Gets emotional at the end of _Gladiator_ every single time.

19. Has a secret passion for _Desperate Housewives_, especially Bree.

20. Knows the choreography to _Born This Way_…

21. … and once crossed baths with Remy during one of his _Sharp Dressed Man_ moments…

22. … while practising his moves.

23. Thought Alexa and the Predator made a really cute couple, which is not a word you can associate with the Predators.

24. Has a thing for Clark Gable movies and until he realised he has bum-fluff for facial hair he tried to grow a moustache.

25. Gets UNBELIEVEIBLY soft and mushy about Kitty when she isn't here. We're talking poetry and other such guff.

26. Prefers his SEGA Megadrive to the house's Xbox and has an original copy of Sonic the Hedgehog.

27. Is the Banky Edwards to my Holden McNeil (from Pietro)

28. Once got drunk at Disneyworld and threw up on Mickey Mouse's feet.

29. Had a lazy eye as a child and spent a year wearing an eye patch and pretending to be a pirate.

30. Has a banana shaped scar on his backside. Do not ask how we know this.

31. Wishes Scott and Jean would keep their preppy noses out of his relationship with Kitty, and that they only do it because their own relationship is about as exciting as a strip club on a Tuesday lunchtime.

32. Has a pair of prosthetic Vulcan ears, we have no idea why or for how long he's had them.

33. Re-found his love of Disney movies thanks to Kitty. This once led to the whole house crying at Fox and the Hound.

34. Made the rest of us suffer when he and Kitty broke up that one time. We think there was an actual playlist for miserable I-Miss-Kitty songs, now no one can listen to _Brown Eyes_ without Lance having to leave the room.

35. Sucks at poker but is brilliant at blackjack.

36. Has a Molly Ringwald box set…

37. … and a crush on Molly Ringwald

38. Is shit-scared of _Nightmare Before Christmas_.

39. Still has all his Pokémon cards and throws a tantrum when we don't play with him.

40. Has _Guy Love _as Pietro's personal ringtone and vice versa.

41. Has only seen one pair on breasts up close and personal before in real life and that was when he accidently ran into Wanda when she was coming out of the shower with only a towel on. There was a fall and you can guess the rest. Remember that beasty black eye he had for about two weeks? There ya go.

42. Doesn't understand how Remy can have the balls to eat Red Savina peppers on a regular basis but doesn't have the gaul to take Rogue out on a date…

43. … same goes for Kurt and the human girl he's always hanging around with.

44. Has a bottle of Sex Panther and a t-shirt saying "I Love Lamp", we think he liked Anchorman.

45. Wants to know if you're free any time soon because the soft tool misses you.


	5. Kurt

A/N

Hello you wonderful people who for some reason think what I'm writing is worth reading! Yet again I must offer up my most humble apologies, I've finished college and have yet to find some of that employment that's knocking around.

So this lately I saw the new X-Men: First Class film and frankly thought it was amazing and basically inspired me to shut down the pissing power point presentations and write something. I've also started making notes about Charles and Erik in the 60's, and it's looking good. By the way, if anyone who reads this has ever played Mass Effect 2 don't you think Jack and Magneto have a lot in common with the childhood imprisonment and scary as hell powers and all? Think about it.

Also just as a warning, the Jean and Scott chapters are going to be satires because frankly I watched the first movie last night and was reminded of just how shit they both really are AND these are now not in any particular order since I'm guessing in this AU they've all heard of these silly little lists. Anyway please review and rate and most of all enjoy!

Oh yeah, and I own nothing.

Hey Amanda!

Since you know all about Kurt's dirty blue fuzzy secret we thought we'd let you in on this whole list shindig that's going around the mansion. Have fun!

Love, Rogue and Kitty.

Start every sentence with "Kurt"

1. Gets really frustrated that people don't know the differences between Bavaria and Germany.

2. Brought over a keg of German beer from his last visit home which floored Logan after two pints.

3. Has a gold edition of the _Sound of Music_ and cheers at the end…

4. … actually he also has a copy of _Thoroughly Modern Millie_…

5. … and _Victor/Victoria_…

6. … okay in general he's a bit of a Julie Andrews fan.

7. Scratches himself with his tails when he thinks no one's looking.

8. Had never really heard of reality TV until he came to America. Now the TiVo box is mostly _Real Housewives of New Jersey_ and _Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares_.

9. Stole a pair of Rogue's leopard print jeans for a _Steel Panther_ concert during his glam rock phase.

10. Had a slight addiction to buying stuff online with wishlists on _Amazon_, _Think-Geek_ and several others. Let's just say we're sorted for birthdays, Christmases and Easters for the next decade.

11. Watched _Alien Vs Predator_ three times before realising how much it sucked and has constant debates about it whenever Lance comes over.

12. Can break-dance…

13. … no seriously we've all seen it…

14. … mostly to the tune of "_Move Bitch Get out the Way_".

15. Refuses to drink American beer.

16. Loves any commercial that involves cows, monkeys and/or puppets.

17. Once met Ryan Reynolds at a Deli in New York.

18. Never buys vendor pretzels, insisting that the German ones are bigger cheaper and generally more awesome.

19. Wanted to breed pigs when he was little and still gets nostalgic whenever he watches _Babe_.

20. Has a plan to one day do a _Man Vs Food_-style tour of America with whoever agrees to go.

21. Has a habit of talking through movies; not in the frustrating you're-ruining-the-movie way but in a way that actually made _Love, Actually_ bearable.

22. Can play only one melody on the piano. That melody just happens to be _Mozart's Moonlight Sonata_.

23. Gets nervous like a dog with fireworks.

24. Was in an all boys Catholic Choir when he was young and can render a verse of _Abide With Me_ that will reduce you to tears.

25. Also he can Yodel…

26. … again, no lie, he's even done it in Lederhosen on the Bavarian Alps.

27. Makes a MEAN apple strudel.

28. Has a deep routed hatred for _David Hasselhoff_…

29. … and _Jean-Claude Van Damme_…

30. … and for some reason the _Spice Girls_.

31. Kicks ass at dance machines.

32. Hadn't seen _Goodfellas_ until three weeks ago and now insists we start using razors to cut garlic whenever he's in the kitchen.

33. Saw _Pinocchio_ out of context when he was little and is now terrified of Whales.

34. Nearly punched Scott when he kept pulling Kurt's tail during a Danger Room session.

35. Once let Kitty take a picture of his skin to show a shop assistant because she wanted a dress that colour.

36. Has on more than one occasion tangled up his tail on random objects while "getting jiggy" and needs help like a little lost lamb.

37. Loves Lily Allen. In fact he and Rogue are constantly swapping CD's from English singers who everyone else think suck.

38. Likes to braid hair.

39. Is very happy that you've accepted him for his mutation…

40. … in fact he said it's thanks to his teleporting that he's never once been late for a date with you.

41. Once fiddles with his image inducer so much that during the space of one day he turned pink…

42. … turned into a woman…

43. … and turned 15 feet tall…

44. … and finally turned into a 300 pound blob before he begged the Professor to fix it.

45. Bought a bottle of _Old Spice_ because you said you liked it.

P.S Just to let you know you totally have the Big Sister Approval from Rogue.

A/N  
>Two uploads in 24 hours? Can I hear a Hell yeah?<p> 


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